Personal Growth

We are facing a deployment. My husband who has become my rock in this transition has left. It's going to be hard. I can't even fathom being apart for 9+ months. It scares me to no end. I know there is a time to grieve the loss of our time together, but I also know that there is a time to take control of my emotions.
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My husband is at war. He is being shot at. That is not going to change. The scary reality is no matter how much I dwell on his safety I am not in control of that. The only thing I am in control of is how I handle myself. I want to take this time to improve. I want to become the best ME I can be for ME. I also want to be the wife that RC deserves.

I'm still adjusting to this military lifestyle. It's difficult uprooting and starting over. When you sacrifice for your spouse I think an identity crisis can occur. So often who you are can be defined by what you do (your occupation), who you associate with (friends), who you are a part of (family), and what your role is (wife). So when you leave those things behind in a move you can loss grasp of who YOU are. I want to find out who I am again. 

Every second of every day I will be thinking of him though. All I want is for him to come back to me. Safely. And if any of this sounds selfish, believe me, I would rather not have to take this personal journey this way.